It’s been about five years since being hit by a semi truck in a construction zone. Since being put on the street by the people who were supposed to be protecting me, I’ve managed to stabilize my situation and carry on with what’s left of my life. Relatively speaking, I’m doing better since the rest of America is in the fast lane on the highway to hell. My experiences following the accident made me believe there was no reason to try and “get back to a normal life” that amounted to getting back on a sinking ship, since the country was going down the shitter. Unfortunately, this is the case.
As a writer and photographer/film maker and to find yourself on the front line of what may be the biggest event in the history of the United States, I feel a major obligation to document the situation, perhaps similar to the work of depression era photographers Dorothea Lange and Walker Evans, only in some kind of digital way. A documentary accurately describes what is happening. That is my task. What is done with that information is up to history. There is plenty to think and write about, but documenting the collapse of the civilization you are living in is pretty damn depressing. It’s tough to write this kind of stuff, as I’ve been doing for the past five years, I need to write about something positive occasionally to keep some kind of balance.
This post is confined to things that I’m thankful for. I believe there is a balance in life and it seems to be tipping in the wrong direction at this time but there is always something there. The thing I’m probably most thankful for is, at seventy two years, that I am physically and mentally in, more or less, one piece. Considering all I’ve done and been through, I’m glad I can walk and chew gum at the same time.
I would not be here at all without the help of my friends. I never had much of a family, so my friends have been my family throughout my life. From the day my father kicked me out of his house as a high school senior, it is my friends who have been there to help me when I needed it. These relationships with different people from different nationalities and different walks of life have had a strong influence on my view of life in general. Most recently, if it were not for my friend Gail’s help following the semi truck accident, I would be in much worse shape today or not here at all. If it weren’t for my old surfing buddy Mike, I wouldn’t have a decent meal all year. Our country and our planet are in big, big trouble. The direct relationships of civil people that have something in common is the only chance that the human race has of being here for any significant length of time.
You don’t have any say in when and where you are born and what history throws at you. How you deal with it shapes and defines you as a person. I believe one of the keys to success and survival is to have an open mind. Approaching every situation without preconceived notions or ideas allows you to develop the most clear understanding. Sounds easy, but that’s difficult, if not impossible for most people. Following the accident, I lost just about everything. With hardly possessions to worry about, personal relationships almost non existent and contact with everyday American life limited to a few hours a week, there comes a clarity of thinking. No matter what happens, I’m not going to be around much longer. While I don’t have the home on the hill, I’ve seen everything I need to see. Forced out of American society and living in the mountains and deserts, I see the world as it is and the world man has made as two distinctly different things. There is a sharp contrast between the beauty and power of the natural world and the destructive path of greed perpetuated by man. I’ve become more a part of the natural world(again) for a short time before my life ends. I am thankful for that.
There are many other things I’m thankful for, too many to mention or even remember. I’ve forgotten more than most people have done. Most of those things are in the past and you only really need to reckon with the future, which I think is going to be a lot different in a very short time. If my view of things is wrong, nobody will care, the only time wasted is my own. Will writing or speaking out save the human race? Not very likely. All I can do is try and accurately describe what I see happening and write it down. History will take it from there.
With my point of view and being old, I am truly thankful for every day I wake up and things are basically the same as the were the day before. I would like to say things are better than the day before, but at this point, I’ll take what I can get. It’s like the last day of a long vacation, things have been great, but it ends tomorrow.